Monthly Archives: December 2015

My Last Gift to Nina Weena Tofina

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The arrival of snow would make playing in the cart impossible for Nina.
A life without play was not in her definition of Quality of Life.
I had said good bye to three dogs already.
In each case, there was little warning.
In e
ach case, I have regrets about decisions made under duress.
                    In Nina’s case….I had time to think…..I had time to plan for the end.
                                 …..And I knew exactly what I wanted for her.

nina in front of house jpg
I wanted Nina’s last days to be peaceful.
I made the plans with love.
…..Sweetened by unexplained forces.
…..No doubt Klauser using his powers from above.

prayed for a never-ending autumn.
Klaus kept the white stuff and cold temps at bay.
…Setting records into December.
…Pushing Mother Nature until Nina gave the word.

The time had come.
The Good Time hours overshadowed by their price.   …She told me she was ready.  With her eyes.  With her touch.  With her whispers.

The date was set for December 18th.
December 18, 2012:  The day I drove my dying Klaus Mouse home from Indiana.
….just wanting to be with his dad
…just wanting to be with his Nina.
nina and blitz w balls


I wanted Nina’s last night to be filled with play.
Yipping, yapping, and running with joy.
 …..Waking the neighbors with her shenanigans.


 I wanted Nina to know she didn’t have to be scared.
Crying in her mane as I told her she’d be seeing Klaus the next day.
He’d show her the way.
…..But instead of giving me the time of day,
…..She stole the ball, Dropped it for the “tease,” and Yipped in my face.

Nina wanted me to be happy.
Clearly telling me to knock it off.  “We’re playing here!”
…..We teased.  We tugged.  We chased.  We shared her infectious smiles.

I wanted Nina’s last breath to be on her futon…in her living room…surrounded by love.
Her vet came to our house – a favor offered without my asking.
…..Someone she trusted implicitly.
…..A mutual friendship built over the last three years of countless acupuncture visits, etc.
twins 11x14


 I wanted Klaus to be there.
Pictures of the twins scattered on the floor.
…..His ashes nearby, still in a cardboard box…
Traveling by her side to the funeral home.
…..Returning home by her side in his matching urn.


 I wanted “Time in A Bottle” by Jim Croce playing during the preparations.
“If words could make wishes come true, I’d save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you.”
…..Nina relaxed.  At Peace.

I wanted “My Girl” by the Temptations playing just before the shots were given.
“I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day…What can make me feel this way?  My Girl.”
…..I cradled her body, listening quietly to her last breath and feeling her last heartbeat.

I wanted “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan to send her on her way.
“You’re in the arms of the angel.  May you find some comfort here.”




At her last breath…..
…..Bright sunshine broke through the cloudy skies.



 Blitz carefully sniffed everyone.
Slowing walking out of the room knowing the sad news.
…..He returned to her side as she was about to be carried out.
…..Saying his good-byes..

blitz in nina's spotAfter she was gone, he sniffed the futon.
The smells telling him the story.
…..For the first time in his life, he lay in her spot.
…..And closed his eyes.

He kept it together until bedtime.
Nina wasn’t there.   He couldn’t be consoled.
…..So I gathered him into my arms.
…..And we curled up together on Nina’s spot.
…..Sleep finally arrived.

After the sun’s brief appearance with Nina’s passing…
          Overcast, dreary skies returned with our tears.
                    As the first smiles were shared in the telling of a Nina story….
                              The bright sunshine returned…..staying for the day.

                                         It really happened that way.  ..Intriguing…..Amazing.
nina and me

I got everything I wanted for my Nina.
          The last gift to my beautiful girl.

She got everything she wanted for me.
          The last gift to her loving mama.


July 28, 2002  to  December 18, 2015