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The arrival of snow would make playing in the cart impossible for Nina.
A life without play was not in her definition of Quality of Life.
I had said good bye to three dogs already.
In each case, there was little warning.
In each case, I have regrets about decisions made under duress.
In Nina’s case….I had time to think…..I had time to plan for the end.
…..And I knew exactly what I wanted for her.
I wanted Nina’s last days to be peaceful.
I made the plans with love.
…..Sweetened by unexplained forces.
…..No doubt Klauser using his powers from above.
I prayed for a never-ending autumn.
Klaus kept the white stuff and cold temps at bay.
…Setting records into December.
…Pushing Mother Nature until Nina gave the word.
The time had come.
The Good Time hours overshadowed by their price. …She told me she was ready. With her eyes. With her touch. With her whispers.
The date was set for December 18th.
December 18, 2012: The day I drove my dying Klaus Mouse home from Indiana.
….just wanting to be with his dad
…just wanting to be with his Nina.
I wanted Nina’s last night to be filled with play.
Yipping, yapping, and running with joy.
…..Waking the neighbors with her shenanigans.
I wanted Nina to know she didn’t have to be scared.
Crying in her mane as I told her she’d be seeing Klaus the next day.
He’d show her the way.
…..But instead of giving me the time of day,
…..She stole the ball, Dropped it for the “tease,” and Yipped in my face.
Nina wanted me to be happy.
Clearly telling me to knock it off. “We’re playing here!”
…..We teased. We tugged. We chased. We shared her infectious smiles.
I wanted Nina’s last breath to be on her futon…in her living room…surrounded by love.
Her vet came to our house – a favor offered without my asking.
…..Someone she trusted implicitly.
…..A mutual friendship built over the last three years of countless acupuncture visits, etc.
I wanted Klaus to be there.
Pictures of the twins scattered on the floor.
…..His ashes nearby, still in a cardboard box…
Traveling by her side to the funeral home.
…..Returning home by her side in his matching urn.
I wanted “Time in A Bottle” by Jim Croce playing during the preparations.
“If words could make wishes come true, I’d save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you.”
…..Nina relaxed. At Peace.
I wanted “My Girl” by the Temptations playing just before the shots were given.
“I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day…What can make me feel this way? My Girl.”
…..I cradled her body, listening quietly to her last breath and feeling her last heartbeat.
I wanted “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan to send her on her way.
“You’re in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort here.”
At her last breath…..
…..Bright sunshine broke through the cloudy skies.
Blitz carefully sniffed everyone.
Slowing walking out of the room knowing the sad news.
…..He returned to her side as she was about to be carried out.
…..Saying his good-byes..
After she was gone, he sniffed the futon.
The smells telling him the story.
…..For the first time in his life, he lay in her spot.
…..And closed his eyes.
He kept it together until bedtime.
Nina wasn’t there. He couldn’t be consoled.
…..So I gathered him into my arms.
…..And we curled up together on Nina’s spot.
…..Sleep finally arrived.
After the sun’s brief appearance with Nina’s passing…
Overcast, dreary skies returned with our tears.
As the first smiles were shared in the telling of a Nina story….
The bright sunshine returned…..staying for the day.
It really happened that way. ..Intriguing…..Amazing.
I got everything I wanted for my Nina.
The last gift to my beautiful girl.
She got everything she wanted for me.
The last gift to her loving mama.
Neeners
July 28, 2002 to December 18, 2015
So sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry Susan. You are a wonderful and loving dog mom. I wish every dog had that love. Our hearts go out to you and Rob.
What a beautiful eulogy. Sharing tears with you Susan. I have been thinking about you since Friday. Friday night grief came over me like a tidal wave. I cried for Miller, then thought of you and Nina.
Blessings,
Julia
I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful story.
That was so well said. I really appreciate you sharing such a personal piece of you and your life.
I’m sad for you, it’s so very hard when you have to make that decision.
She had a good life with you, focus on the happier times.
So sorry for your loss. ….thinking of you guys all weekend!
Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes. It’s comforting to Rob and me.
I didn’t include the part about me whispering in her ear, “You better send us the best damn puppy that ever existed.” She owes us!
Susan, what a loving tribute. I will miss sweet Nina. You were as much a blessing to her as she was to you. So sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing Nina’s story. Heartbreaking, but beautiful. I’m glad I got to meet her at pupDogs, she was a very special dog. Hugs to you for your sadness.
I am reading this with tears running down my cheeks…no matter how many times I’ve gone through this myself it never gets any easier, and my heart breaks for you, Rob and Blitz. Nina was so lucky to be a part of such a loving family, and I know there will be a big hole in your lives that she used to fill. So sorry for your loss.
Susan, the beauty of your thoughtful planning and tribute is a perfect reflection of your love and devotion! Thinking of you both with love, Lyn
Suz, so sorry for your loss. You did an incredible job with the blog as well as going above and beyond what most of us could do for our friends. We all know how difficult these last years have been and my heart goes out to all of you at this time.
{{{HUGS}}}}
Jeez Susan, I haven’t cried that hard since my mom died. You are an amazing , caring dog mom and woman.
I am sorry for your loss. (Rob too)
Kathy and “Lilly”
I am sitting here sobbing after reading this. I am so sorry you have lost your dog child. Love to you and Rob
I am sitting here sobbing. I am so sorry that you have lost one of your “doggy children” love to you and Rob.